SKYFALL 2012 Review

Skyfall is an incredibly well-done Bond film. I had fun watching it, and I definitely think it ranks as one of the best Bonds I've ever seen. Four out of four stars. So go see it.

Boom, review over. Right?

Not a chance.

My Life With James Bond

This has always been one of my favorite posters.

Happy James Bond day everyone. Fifty years ago today, Dr. No was released bringing the world face to face with 007 brought to life from Ian Fleming's novels. My experience with Bond and his movies is quite extensive. I've literally grown up with them. This being the case, I thought that I might celebrate today by sharing my own experiences with the super spy.

Much Ado About Nothing Review (X*ACT Theater, Xenia)

As a student of literature in all forms, of course I have spent some time with the Bard. Shakespeare's collective works are some of the most treasured and widely read of any author that has ever lived. You may even remember that I took a turn acting in one of his plays, from this post right here. I had a great time performing as the villain, Don John, and I did a lot of work studying the play, Much Ado About Nothing. Happily, another production of Much Ado is being put on at the Xenia Area Community Theater and I was very fortunate to be able to see it Opening Night this past Friday. This one was directed by Lisa Howard-Welch and was an incredible amount of fun to watch. And, would you believe it, there's a trailer for this play. And its pretty damn good too.

Absolutely gorgeous artwork by Jacinda Bridger

The Oscar Nominees Spell Doom For Humanity - Or Something...

I avoid doing these kinds of articles every year because its kind of a tired, old gag in film circles that the Academy Awards are pretentious, elitist, and overly high-brow and completely miss the point of awarding deserving movies. This year is special though. If you missed the drama, Eddie Murphy was slated to host but backed out of the proceedings after his friend, the despicable Brett Ratner, was fired from the Academy Awards show for saying that "rehearsal is for fags." After Murphy left (who I was very excited to see host the show because even though he hasn't made a movie I enjoyed since 2001, he still has goodwill earned with me from making Coming to America)  the Oscars went with the safe choice to replace him: Billy Crystal.

Finding Depth in Film Re-Releases

I'm a pretty big fan of re-releases of movies I love. I first started going to see them when everyone else my age started going to see them: the Star Wars: Special Edition re-releases. I must have seen Empire in theaters three or four times. Either that or I've just seen that movie so many times it all runs together. Now a days the big thing is to re-release classic movies in 3-D, and we've already seen The Lion King done that way and the entire Star Wars franchise is being done in 3-D as well. I'm completely on the fence about whether or not I'll go see the Star Wars movies again, but one thing is certain for me: As long as Disney keeps putting out their movies in 3-D they can count on me being in the audience to watch it.

That's me right there. The one in the glasses.

Yet Another New Project + Movie Review

Here we stand again my friends. We are about to embark upon a new project. But Joey, I can already imagine you saying. You have like three other ongoing projects that you haven't finished yet! Well, firstly: Shut up.

 Seriously.

The Muppets (2011) Review!

Before I get into the review proper, I have a few updates for everyone. Firstly, my computer went a little funny a while ago and I lost just about all of my written projects that I was working on. Luckily, my video work was spared, as that would have taken a lot longer to replace, but the loss of my article fragments has been near devastating. That is why it is taking me so long to get another piece up for everyone. It has been slow moving replacing all of the things I want to finish, mostly because for about three days I was just downright sad that I lost it all in the first place.

Me, after I watched my lappy top die in my arms.

We interrupt your regular programming

Most of you have noticed a little bit of lack of content around these parts recently. The explanation for that is that I was acting in a play for the past few weekends. Yep, in addition to me being an obnoxious literature and movie snob, I am now one of those crazy actors. I have my priorities straight though: First, acting success, then cocaine. Not the other way around. You go the other way about it and you get to be Andy Dick.

And nobody wants another one of him walking around

PiT Master Movie Character Countdown, Part 4

What?! Another update from me so soon? Crazy I know. Maybe I'm just back in the writing mood. Maybe I'm trying to avoid doing actual work. You may never know. Scientists will ponder this problem for years to come, but I doubt they will find any answer. Mostly because this is the lead researcher:

PiT Master Movie Character Countdown, Part the Third

I just wanted to let everyone know I haven't forgotten about this little project of mine. I put a lot of work into that list and I'm going to finish this come hell or high water. Truth is, I'm just having an absolute blast making those video movie reviews so I've been putting this off for a while. In fact, I reviewed two more movies while you weren't looking because I wanted it to be a surprise for all of us. Because I like you a lot (Editor's note: certain statements made by the author of this article are untrue). The two movies I reviewed are Miller's Crossing and National Treasure. I was a lot more comfortable with the software I was using for these reviews so they're a little better than the Horror of Dracula review I did a few weeks ago. The biggest bonus of these new reviews is the addition of Nic Cage, who makes everything better.

Is this the face of a man who would buy a T-Rex head? I believe the answer is a big fat "Yes"

Oooh. Shiny

I like to consider myself "with the times" so to speak. That's why I used to write for newspapers long after print media lost relevancy and why I started a blog about movies back when it was so far away from being a fresh idea that there was no chance of me ever finding more than a handful of loyal readers (Editor's note: Hi guys!). In the spirit of keeping myself current, I decided to review a movie that's over fifty years old. The movie I reviewed was The Horror of Dracula which came out in 1958.

It's like this, but only in motion and way sweet.

PiT Master Movie Character Countdown, Part 2

Okay, okay. I know. I'm an asshole. I told everyone that this would be a really special project for me and that I was going to take the time to do it right and make everyone happy. I messed up. I disappeared. All I can say is "Suck it, I do what I want." You guys should know what to expect from me now. However, if you are still angry at me for not updating the Master Movie Character Countdown in a long while, feel free to rip me a new asshole. It's okay, I got like seven. Yeah, I got a Charlie Brown ghost ass.

 If someone tries to give me a rock for Trick-or-Treat I will just fucking lose it

PiT Master Movie Character Countdown, Part 1

I know, I know. I promised that this endeavor would have been finished already. Just goes to show you, you can't trust people on the internet. EVER.

For example, this is what I really look like.

PiT Poetic Interlude: I Hate Snow

Snow is a terrible, terrible thing. It makes everything more dangerous, kills people through accidents and exposure, and is pretty much proof in every way that if there is a supreme deity out there, he hates us and wants us as miserable as possible.

 God is pretty much a jerk.

New Project

Some of you may realize that I absolutely love movies. That's where I've been this whole time: watching all of the movies.

ALL OF THE MOVIES!

I Have Too Much Time On My Hands

There's a little website I like to visit sometimes. You might have heard of it. It's called YouTube, and apparently it's pretty popular.

There's this one search engine I just started using too, maybe you heard of that one?

Don't Get Your Hopes Up I'm Not Dead Yet

I know I've been negligent in updating and all I can really say is I'm sorry.

So, to placate fans of Presented in Technicolor (all three or four of you) I suppose I'll just show everyone what I've been working on the past couple of weeks. In order to get out of writing an actual paper or doing some kind of presentation for my Theater class I've been writing a script for a play. I sometimes worked on it in coffee shops.

I Give Five Dollar Mustache Rides

I have a beard. I actually get quite a lot of hate for it, even though I think its awesome. I haven't always had a beard, and I acquired the one I have now after several test-drives earlier this year. My recent foray into facial hair has me obsessed now with how it looks. I'm worried its not robust enough, or that I'll meet someone who has better facial hair than I do and then I'd have to shave out of a bizarre form of penis-envy.

It's like a dick but on your face.

The Most Depressing Thought Exercise I Have Ever Embarked Upon

Do you ever get stuck on a train of thought...

Comics You Should Be Reading

Most who know me know that I am fascinated by comics. Not just the print and published kind, I'm talking web comics. I find the idea that anyone, anywhere can write and draw a comic, post it online, and have it reach a potential audience of millions without a publisher or distributor as incredible as it is awesome. Gone are the days when someone would have to sell their idea to Dark Horse or Marvel or DC to be taken seriously. I admit that indie comics existed before, I just find the accessibility of the current era of online goodness absolutely delicious.