Thursday, December 22, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Before I get into the review proper, I have a few updates for everyone. Firstly, my computer went a little funny a while ago and I lost just about all of my written projects that I was working on. Luckily, my video work was spared, as that would have taken a lot longer to replace, but the loss of my article fragments has been near devastating. That is why it is taking me so long to get another piece up for everyone. It has been slow moving replacing all of the things I want to finish, mostly because for about three days I was just downright sad that I lost it all in the first place.
Me, after I watched my lappy top die in my arms.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Most of you have noticed a little bit of lack of content around these parts recently. The explanation for that is that I was acting in a play for the past few weekends. Yep, in addition to me being an obnoxious literature and movie snob, I am now one of those crazy actors. I have my priorities straight though: First, acting success, then cocaine. Not the other way around. You go the other way about it and you get to be Andy Dick.
And nobody wants another one of him walking around
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
What?! Another update from me so soon? Crazy I know. Maybe I'm just back in the writing mood. Maybe I'm trying to avoid doing actual work. You may never know. Scientists will ponder this problem for years to come, but I doubt they will find any answer. Mostly because this is the lead researcher:
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I just wanted to let everyone know I haven't forgotten about this little project of mine. I put a lot of work into that list and I'm going to finish this come hell or high water. Truth is, I'm just having an absolute blast making those video movie reviews so I've been putting this off for a while. In fact, I reviewed two more movies while you weren't looking because I wanted it to be a surprise for all of us. Because I like you a lot (Editor's note: certain statements made by the author of this article are untrue). The two movies I reviewed are Miller's Crossing and National Treasure. I was a lot more comfortable with the software I was using for these reviews so they're a little better than the Horror of Dracula review I did a few weeks ago. The biggest bonus of these new reviews is the addition of Nic Cage, who makes everything better.
Is this the face of a man who would buy a T-Rex head? I believe the answer is a big fat "Yes"
Sunday, September 18, 2011
I like to consider myself "with the times" so to speak. That's why I used to write for newspapers long after print media lost relevancy and why I started a blog about movies back when it was so far away from being a fresh idea that there was no chance of me ever finding more than a handful of loyal readers (Editor's note: Hi guys!). In the spirit of keeping myself current, I decided to review a movie that's over fifty years old. The movie I reviewed was The Horror of Dracula which came out in 1958.
It's like this, but only in motion and way sweet.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Okay, okay. I know. I'm an asshole. I told everyone that this would be a really special project for me and that I was going to take the time to do it right and make everyone happy. I messed up. I disappeared. All I can say is "Suck it, I do what I want." You guys should know what to expect from me now. However, if you are still angry at me for not updating the Master Movie Character Countdown in a long while, feel free to rip me a new asshole. It's okay, I got like seven. Yeah, I got a Charlie Brown ghost ass.
If someone tries to give me a rock for Trick-or-Treat I will just fucking lose it
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Snow is a terrible, terrible thing. It makes everything more dangerous, kills people through accidents and exposure, and is pretty much proof in every way that if there is a supreme deity out there, he hates us and wants us as miserable as possible.
God is pretty much a jerk.